SELF-MADE MAN

WARNING: CONTROVERSIAL SUBJECT!

This is the book club book I chose for this year. I saw this book in the bargain section at Borders and it reminded me that I had seen the author on a TV show (like Oprah or something like that). It intrigued me, so I bought it. Normally I am not one for non-fiction, in fact, I very seldom read it by choice. But this book was a very interesting non-fiction read and I highly recommend it.

The reason it's controversial is because the author, Norah Vincent, is a lesbian. She disguises herself as a man for 18 months as a social experiment. She wanted to infiltrate the man's world as a man and see what it was like. She makes it very clear in the beginning that she is not a transvestite or a person who desires a sex change. She just wondered what it was like to be a man.

There were many lessons Norah learned through her experience as "Ned" (her alter-ego). So many that there's no way I'll try to expound here. Suffice it to say, I learned a lot about my husband just by reading this book. Norah explains at the end that she still doesn't know what it's really like to be a man because she isn't one. But there are definite ideas that our society and culture have about gender, gender roles and gender expectations. I find this subject especially intriguing after all the hoopla about Prop 102 and 8 recently. The book really doesn't have anything to do with being homosexual, but it does cause one to think about what gender really is. Is gender something you're born with? Is it something you learn because society makes it so?

Personally, I believe gender is something you are born with. (See the Family Proclamation). I have seen this with my niece and nephew (twins that are very much boy and girl individually). That being said, I do not think that gay people simply choose to be gay and are inherant sinners because of it. I don't know why people are gay and I'm not sure we'll ever know. There are probably a thousand different reasons. As Norah discovered, she is very happy being a woman, has no desire to be a man, but for whatever reason is attracted to other women and not men.

I encourage a read of this book, even if you don't agree with it, as a means of opening our eyes to other ideas, thoughts and experiences. She uses very crude language and does talk about what goes on in strip clubs, so if that will offend you, don't read it. I'm just about to go to book club now and can't wait to see what everyone else thought of the book!