SELF-MADE MAN

WARNING: CONTROVERSIAL SUBJECT!

This is the book club book I chose for this year. I saw this book in the bargain section at Borders and it reminded me that I had seen the author on a TV show (like Oprah or something like that). It intrigued me, so I bought it. Normally I am not one for non-fiction, in fact, I very seldom read it by choice. But this book was a very interesting non-fiction read and I highly recommend it.

The reason it's controversial is because the author, Norah Vincent, is a lesbian. She disguises herself as a man for 18 months as a social experiment. She wanted to infiltrate the man's world as a man and see what it was like. She makes it very clear in the beginning that she is not a transvestite or a person who desires a sex change. She just wondered what it was like to be a man.

There were many lessons Norah learned through her experience as "Ned" (her alter-ego). So many that there's no way I'll try to expound here. Suffice it to say, I learned a lot about my husband just by reading this book. Norah explains at the end that she still doesn't know what it's really like to be a man because she isn't one. But there are definite ideas that our society and culture have about gender, gender roles and gender expectations. I find this subject especially intriguing after all the hoopla about Prop 102 and 8 recently. The book really doesn't have anything to do with being homosexual, but it does cause one to think about what gender really is. Is gender something you're born with? Is it something you learn because society makes it so?

Personally, I believe gender is something you are born with. (See the Family Proclamation). I have seen this with my niece and nephew (twins that are very much boy and girl individually). That being said, I do not think that gay people simply choose to be gay and are inherant sinners because of it. I don't know why people are gay and I'm not sure we'll ever know. There are probably a thousand different reasons. As Norah discovered, she is very happy being a woman, has no desire to be a man, but for whatever reason is attracted to other women and not men.

I encourage a read of this book, even if you don't agree with it, as a means of opening our eyes to other ideas, thoughts and experiences. She uses very crude language and does talk about what goes on in strip clubs, so if that will offend you, don't read it. I'm just about to go to book club now and can't wait to see what everyone else thought of the book!

The Last Lecture

I just finished reading The Last Lecture from Randy Pausch. If you haven't heard of this book I would wonder if you've been hibernating for the last 6 months. This book is written by a Computer Science professor from Carnegie Mellon who delivered his "last lecture" because he was dying of pancreatic cancer. (He has since passed away after giving the lecture and writing the book).

After hearing about the lecture, I went online and watched the entire thing. I'm sure if you google it, it wouldn't be hard to do. It's a really good lecture, but a lot of it is specific to his profession and industry (which it should be since that's who he was talking to). Anyway, the book describes parts of the lecture, but is more about what life's lessons Randy has learned. By the way, I love how he calls himself Randy Pausch instead of Dr. Randy Pausch. For some reason it just makes him that much more real and easy to relate to.

The book is very short and won't take long to read. I think it was really worthwhile. It just brought to focus the really important things in life and made me wonder what I would do with my time if I knew I had 6 months to live. He's very realistic about his prognosis, but also optimistic, which I just loved. Lately it seems I have really needed help focusing my attention on the things that really matter. This book helped me do just that.

I highly recommend it! And for those of you who have read it, what did you like the most?

One of my favorites was when he talked about painting on the walls of his room as a teenager. I think it is so cool that his mom didn't care and Randy was so proud of his work. It reminded me of my cousin Ben's room in Boston. My sister and I went and visited and stayed in his room and it was COVERED with black and white drawings, writings and miscellaneous things from he and his friends. I love the fact that his parents let him be creative and artistic on his own terms.

That's all I'm going to say because I'm trying to shorten my posts! Merry Christmas!

Keeping The Moon

This book is a young adult fiction by Sarah Dessen. It was our book club book for the month and I have to say I wasn't sure about it. I LOVE young adult books (ask Rusty, he's always bugging me to read more "adult" books), so it wasn't that that I was worried about. I'm just not one for realistic fiction.


Anyway, this story is a kind of coming of age story; growing into your own self kind of story. I think I probably would have really liked it when I was 16, but I'm passed that stage now and have no desire to go back. I was talking to my mom about it and saying "I just couldn't relate to Collie (main character). She was always worried about what people thought of her and I was never like that." My mom corrected me and reminded me that I did care what people thought of me when I was a teenager. I then corrected her and said, "Yeah, maybe, but I was never willing to change myself to fit their expectations". I've always kind of had this attitude of "take me as I am, if you don't like it, that's your problem, not mine." Not exactly conducive to adolescence. It definitely didn't work for flirting with the boys.


I remember once when I was about 14 going into my parent's room. I was depressed, feeling like no guys liked me. (Typical feeling for that age group, especially since all my friends seemed to have boyfriends). Anyway, my dad, of all people, asked me if I flirted with the guys. I didn't know what he really meant by that. He asked, "When they talk to you, do you act interested?" And my reply was, "Only if what they're saying is interesting!". He then said, "Well, that's your problem. You have to act interested, even when your not." That just seemed like the stupidest thing to me.


So yeah, I never had what it took to be a good flirt, or to impress other people. Luckily, I think I turned out ok. I found a guy that wasn't really interested in flirting either! I wouldn't really recommend this book unless you're a teenager feeling like no one understands you or you don't understand yourself.

HAPPY VETERAN'S DAY

With the recent election, and today being Veteran's Day, I wanted to say something about how awesome it is to live in this country. I have to be honest and say I was one of those that was just glad that the election was finally over. I was so sick of the debates, ads, signs, campaigning, etc. I hope the leaders of the country will finally get to work and try to fix some of the messes our country is in right now.

That being said, yesterday the Chorus Club at our school did an assembly for the 3-6th graders. (I'm in charge of it). We sang patriotic songs and had a Veteran from the local VFW come and speak. I hope the kids understood why they had today off and appreciated more than just because they didn't go to school.

Because I've been planning that assembly, it got me thinking about the Veterans I know. I really don't know that many. But every year at Veteran's Day, I think about one in particular that has been a great example to me. Brother Lulloff (I just can't bring myself to call him Earl, even though I'm an adult now) is the father of some friends of mine from childhood. They live down the street from my parents. He was shot and paralyzed in Vietnam. Jel and I went and visited him today to say thanks for your service, but also just to see him. He has colon and liver cancer (I think) and isn't expected to live much longer. He looked great, but I'm sure he's on a lot of pain medication. He has always been so positive about his circumstances. When we were kids and he was in a wheelchair, I never heard him or his kids complain about his situation. His wife has taken care of him all these years with nothing but a smile on her face. I was still a child when he had to have his legs amputated. At first it was a little weird, but he never let it phase him. Over the years he's had many health problems and probably should have died on a number of occasions. He has been spared each time and continues to live as an example to all of us.

I just wanted to write and say thanks to all the Veterans who have served our country. I'm proud to have known one who has been such a pillar of strength to those around him. It would be nice if he could live through yet another trial. But if not, I will have been glad to know him and his family.

So next time you get one of those annoying address labels in the mail, think twice about chucking it in the trash. Just a small donation to the Veterans can go a long way, if not only to show your appreciation for what they've done. (We also get the yellow bags to donate to the Vietnam Vets of America every month and I always find something I need to get rid of. I don't even have to take it down to the charity--they pick it up!)

Our First B&B Experience

Last weekend was October Break and we had Thursday and Friday off. Rusty and I decided to take a quick trip to southern Arizona before I got too big and didn't want to travel anywhere. We vascillated between staying at a resort we like in Tucson, or trying out a bed and breakfast somewhere. Rusty's always wanted to check out some abandoned mining towns down south, and we knew if we stayed at the resort we'd never leave. So the B&B it was.

We researched a few in the area we wanted to go and decided on one called the Dusquesne House. It was a gamble because it didn't have a website and only a couple of pictures. But it turned out to be a great pick. Found in Patagonia, Arizona, this adobe house was built in 1898 by the founder of the town. It was built as a bording house, so it was nice because we had our own suite. There was a front room with 2 day beds that we did our reading in, connected to the bedroom with a private bathroom off the back. It was only $125 a night and included a full gourmet breakfast in the morning.

The B&B was also only a couple blocks away from the main street, so we just walked to the restaurants and arts festival that was going on that weekend. It was really relaxing, and we did spend a day driving around checking out the old mining towns.

There's a couple reasons I'm putting this on my "Reading" blog. First, we met some really neat people over breakfast in the morning. Friday morning we met the owners of Changing Hands bookstore in Tempe. They were there for a relaxing few days as well. We started talking to them because their license plate said "BOOKS", so Rusty thought one of them was a librarian. Turns out they own one of the last privately owned bookstores in the valley. We learned a lot about the publishing industry and Rusty came away with 2 books that Gayle gave him. She insisted he take them because of some of the things we talked about that morning. Anyway, that was really neat. I think staying at a B&B is so much better than a resort because you actually meet people in an intimate setting.

Second, for book club this month we are reading "These is my words", set in southern Arizona from 1881 to 1910 or something like that. Driving around these old mining towns and reading about the people who lived there really gave me a feel for the setting of this book. I have read the book before, but it's nice to read it again with a fresh perspective on it!

If you're ever looking for a relaxing weekend getaway, let me know and I'll give you the info for this B&B--I highly recommend it!